Dog is God Spelled Backwards

Last night we were all sitting on the Futon watching the movie "Bruce Almighty" with actor Jim Carey when Mom turned to Dad and said "What if Jemima was God?". Dad laughed really hard and said '"Wouldn't that be so funny? God would constantly be begging for food!".
Now, I didn't find this little conversation to be so funny at all, because, you know what? I could be God...! I think that it is about time that people appreciated the fact that I could be and do a lot of things that they really don't expect from a Pug!
For instance, I can walk on my hind legs (which did take a lot of help from Mom to learn I'll admit), but how many Pugs can walk on their hind legs? And would you really expect a Pug, or any dog, to do such a thing? I think not. Therefore, I could be God, you just don't know.
If I was God, things would be different, that's for sure! I would not tolerate being put into my pen when Mom and Dad leave... Actually I wouldn't have to tolerate anything because I could just aparate away or something couldn't I? I would not allow Mom and Dad to eat their food while ignoring me, it would be all sharing, all the time. And I wouldn't let the cats fight with me or each other because it disturbs my sleep.
So, to sum up, if I was God, nobody would have to sleep in cages or pens, everyone would share all the time, and nobody would fight. I think that that would be better, don't you?
Jemima Jones Beck
Oh, Uh P.S., and nobody would be allowed to call Pugs the "U" word (Ugly)!

Daddy's Bike

My Daddy's bike was stolen last night. He is really upset. In the picture to the left I am sitting in the spot where Daddy used to take his bike outside and work on it. At my feet is the lock that used to be on the bike, along with the chain that the criminal who stole the bike cut with some bolt cutters.
The bad person who stole the bike also took one of Daddys favorite possessions - his mag lite that his Daddy gave to him years ago and a saw.
Daddy wants to put up a sign that says "Please Bring My Bike Back", but Mom thinks that that would be a waste of time and effort. I don't know what I think that Dad should do, I am just glad that nobody used the bolt cutters on me!
Dad has just told me that his parents, my grandparents, are going to send him one of their bikes so that he can commute to work and then Mom can have the car back and continue looking for a job. I think that that is a relly wonderful thing for Grandma and Grandpa to do! Except, well.....Now Mom can leave the house again!!! Why is everyone trying to leave me? Why does everyting happen to me? Why is the Pug always the one that gets left at home...Why?!?!
Jemima Jones Beck

The Minimum Wage

In the picture to the left I am contemplating "The Minimum Wage". I had never heard of the minimum wage until I heard Mom and Dad talking about it the other day. Aparently, in Colorado, the minimum wage is $5.15 per hour, and that is not a lot of money (sounds like a lot of Milk Bones to me but whatever). And in Oregon the minimum wage is $7.50 per hour, which is something that Mom called a "living wage". Now, I don't understand money very well, but it seems to me that it is silly that an expensive state like Colorado (which I still miss and love) should have a living wage, while a cheap state like Oregon (which I still despise) should not have one, just on principal. Why is it that the rich states just continue to improve their own outlook, making it hard for middle and lower class families to live, while the states that are poor and could maybe use a little help, excel at helping their people? Why?
Apparently, Oregon is unique in other ways as well, with legislation that makes it an incredibly liberal state. Although, Mom thinks that the liberal image that this state has is a bit hypocritical given the number of comments and stares that she and Dad have received on Dad's arm tattoos, Dad's pierced ears, and their "Vote for Pedro" bumper-sticker (what do these people think is wrong with Pedro? I don't understand).
Jemima Jones Beck

I Miss Colorado

I miss Colorado! I really thought that I wasn't one of those pugs that has home-state-sickness issues but I do! I think about Colorado all the time, the red sand, the beautiful mountains, the nice, tall, mold -free trees, the SUNLIGHT, and the absence of rain and sleet while pottying. I also miss my Grandma, Andrea. She used to take me on walks on occasion and I would get so excited to be around her that I would run around and around and around her in a circle (she thought that I was excited to have pooped and thus lightened my load, but in reality I just liked Grandma).
I miss Colorado but I guess that I can handle it. Mom says that we are going back in a few years so... I am waiting!
Sadly,
Jemima Jones Beck

My Birthday

January 22nd was my first birthday! It was something that I have been looking forward to for quite some time, since I witnessed Tipper and Wellington's birthdays during which they were given extra food, attention, and presents. The day started with a breakfast of raw beef and Mom and Dad singing "Happy Birthday to You" to me. Then I got my presents (two special chew bones that help my teeth stay nice and strong and my breath smell good). Then, it was picture time, which was probably my least favorite time of the day. Dad stuck this party ribbon on my head (I guess that they couldn't find hats at the store) and Mom took picture after picture. I am rather cute with ribbons aren't I? I think that I look rather like Goldie Locks only I should be called Party Locks or maybe Cutie Locks.
Dad starts his new job tomorrow (Wednesday). I think that he must be looking forward to getting a job because now we wont have to worry about money quite so much. Mom is planning his outfit and will iron his clothes for him as soon as the final decision is made about what Dad will wear.
Mom is still looking for a job, and frankly I hope that she doesn't find one because then nobody will be around to spend all their time with me.
well, I better go chew my birthday bone before one of the cats eats it, I found Netty licking it earlier and threw a bit of a tantrum because food is one thing that a Pug just cannot share!
Jemima Jones Beck

I Like Bananas

I really like bananas, can you tell? I enjoy eating them all the time and everywhere. When I eat a banana I typically chew it with my mouth open, because that enhances the flavor of the banana so much. My very favorite brand is Chiquita. I am thinking about having the Chiquita label tattooed on my forehead as demonstrated with this sticker - what do you think?
Mom and Dad like bananas to. They are always saying things like "We'll name the next one Chiquita Banana". Or "We really should get Jemima a little Chiquita Banana to play with".
Talk to you soon!
Jemima Jones Beck

Sometimes I am a Bad Pug...

Some times I am a bad Pug. Hard to believe isn't it considering how cute I look in this picture. But really, sometimes I don't obey commands, and I step on Mom's glasses, and I wiggle under the covers after having been drenched in the rain outside. I also chew books. I do. I'll admit to the fact that I am a book chewing addict. It started with just one (one) taste of one of Mom's books - something called "Harry Potter" (who is this Harry Potter anyway? I am sure that I have never heard of the Ninny...). Anyway, despite my having only tasted the binding, and maybe a few of the pages, and the front cover, Mom was irate (over some nobody named Harry Potter). I was disciplined, no treats that night. After having felt Mom's wrath over her books I laid off the stuff for a few weeks until I just happened to come across a whole stash of them while the parents were out. Mom had laid out (for my selection I thought), some more "Harry Potter", some "Amelia Peabody" and one called "Little Earthquakes". I partook of each book, choosing to chew only the finest, which in the end turned out to be all of them, thourally.
When Mom came home she was quite upset. And now, I am no longer allowed near the books. They actually haven't yet been unpacked in the "New" townhouse, but the books that Mom recently acquired at thrift store are still strictly off limits.
Hmmm, I wonder if Dad has anything that I can chew...?
Happy Trails,
Jemima Jones Beck

My Arch-Enemy

This is Wellington, my Arch-Enemy. Wellington is known as "Big Guy", "Mean Kitty", and "The White blur". Frankly, he terrifies me. Why does this big, mean kitty terrify me so much? Well there are a lot of reasons. 1. Until recently when he lost a lot of weight he weighed more than me. 2. He is faster than me. 3. He is much much sharper than me. 4. He hates me. Often times I will be minding my own business, doing my puggy thing when out of no where Wellington comes along and claws me on the behind! When this happens I always run away, trying to get away from the horrible claws and out of Mr. Meanies' line of sight, but he invariably follows me, clawing and hissing.
Don't get me wrong, Wellington isn't crazy, he likes the other animals and he loves Mom, but he just flat out hates me! That makes him my Arch -Enemy!

A Job is a Good Thing

Dad has finally gotten a job, which I am told is a good thing because we now wont be "kicked to the gutter" at the beginning of next month when the rent is due. But to me this seems like a really bad thing because Dad will not be spending as much time with me and Mom (aparently Mom will we getting a "Job" as well, so they are just totally abandoning me).
What is a job anyway? Just a place that people go to make themselves unhappy? I personally think that Dad should stay home with me.
Love,
Jemima Jones Beck

My Best Friend

Hello! Jemima Jones here again. Today I want to tell everyone about my best friend, Netty (he is the small orange one in the picture, I am the big tan one).
Mom and Dad got Netty one day at the Humane Society in Durango, Colorado. Just as the two of them were leaving from making a visit to the cats in the shelter a man came in with a box of kittens (Netty and his brothers and sisters), who were only a few weeks old.
Mom immediately fell in love and selected a cute little orange kitten that she thought was a girl (those parts were small at that time so it was an easy mistake to make). Mom and Dad took Netty home where they named him after Mom's great grandmother - Netty Carter. Netty needed to be bottle fed and was so small that he couldn't get into the litter box, so he had to poop in a milk jug that Mom cut in half and poured cat litter into for him. As time went on Netty got bigger and bigger and bigger, one part in particular got exceptionally large - his little nutties. They were so big that the vet had trouble removing them when she neutered him a few months ago. I think that he grew his nutties so big in order to make up for the fact that he was mistaken for a girl for so long (not to mention being named after a girl...)!
Now, Netty and I are best friends. We play every day and sleep together every night (usually right on top of Mom).
Talk again soon,
Jemima Jones Beck

The Futon

Mom and Dad have finally gotten a bed. For the first few nights in our new house in Oregon we all slept on a blow up air mattress that Mom and Dad bought at KMart. The thing was a double thick mattress that was so tall I couldn't even jump on it, and when I FINALLY made the jump Dad yelled at me because of his fear that the mattress would pop. During the night the thing would deflate and we would all roll into the center of it, a big pile of person, dog, and cat. Dad returned the thing after only two nights (good riddance). After that we slept on a tarp and two sleeping bags on the floor. This was nice for me (no jumping), but it made Mom sneeze, itch, and turn red all over.
Finally, two days ago, Mom and Dad brought home a futon, which works for us all... Mom is off the floor and doesn't sneeze, Dad doesn't roll to the middle, I only have a small jump, and the cats have something to hide under.
In the picture that you see here I am trying to sleep but Mom keeps flashing me in the face with the camera...!
Jemima Jones Beck

The Ocean is Big, and Sea Life is Unfriendly

Jemima Jones here again! The move to Oregon continues to move ahead as planned. Mom and Dad now both have Oregon drivers licenses (although both failed the driving test on the first try), and the Jeep now has Oregon plates. On that high note Mom and Dad decided to take the cats and I to the beach at Newport. the cats mostly stayed in their carriers and watched the sights fly by from the car but I got to walk the board-walk. We parked the car almost on the edge of the ocean and walked to an observation deck. On the deck were hundreds of pigeons. I was so excited and wanted to meet/snuggle the pigeons so much that I rushed over to them, dragging Mom with me. The pigeons misconstrued my actions and flew away, flapping noisily. I got the impression that several people who had been watching the pigeons from a near by restaurant were a little bit disgruntled by my actions and as such Mom, Dad and I moved down the board-walk posthaste. Soon we entered the actual docks for many of the large (to me HUGE), fishing boats. Some of the boats had rusty spots on them and what I assume were barnacle. Others were imposing and newly painted with bright colors and had names such as "The Predator". One boat was selling live crab to passers by from its deck. At the end of the dock Mom and Dad stopped to enjoy the view of the bay and some loud and friendly (I hoped) sea lions. I noticed that the dock, which was made of cement and wood, was actually bobbing up and down a significant amount, enough that I began to feel more than a little bit seasick. As my sea sickness worsened I also noticed that many of the sealions were not only not friendly but huge and seemingly intent on eating me! Again, Mom, Dad, and I left the area, posthaste.

Overall I found the ocean exciting and I hope that we go back soon. I would also like to befriend a crab, they look so pretty and playful. Love,

Jemima Jones Beck

Our "New" Town House...

Hello! It's me, Jemima Jones, again! I wanted to give everyone a little update about our move to Oregon. We finally hound a house to live in (actually, Mom says that it is a Townhome, whatever that is). I am a little bit worried about the new house for a couple of reasons. 1. This place has stairs! Pugs don't do stairs well, especially metal stairs which are slippery in general. 2. The carpet smells really bad - is that mold or old feet. It also makes Mom itch, but she is allergic to everything so I am not surprised. 3. We had to sign a "Lead Based Paint Warning" because the house was built before 1968. I don't know what Lead is - is it food? It sounds yummy - but the fact that this place is so old worries me! How old can a house possibly get before it collapses? Enclosed please see a picture of me in the new house on the stairs... I look worried and I bet you can tell why!
Love,
Jemima Jones Beck
P.S. Don't forget to read again because next time I am going to write about our trip to the coast at Newport where I chased pidgeons and was almost eatten by a huge sealion...!

Oregon is new and exciting...

Hi! I am Jemima Jones, a Pug dog, who is almost one year old (in fact my birthday is on January 22nd so be sure to send me lots of presents)! I live with my People, Rachele and Scott Beck and our four cats, Wellington, Tipper, Spork, and Netty.
Recently my people began putting things in boxes, throwing things away, and selling anything valuable. I was confused at first and I must admit, I acted out by peeing all over the floor. Eventually, one of the cats explained that we must be moving to another house. As it turned out we weren't just moving to a new house but to a whole new state... Oregon!
It took us almost two full days to move from Durango, Colorado to Corvallis, Oregon but I didn't mind the drive because I got to poop in every state that we passed through along the way.
On our way here we passed through a huge snow storm, which was actually really scarey because Mom, who was driving, couldn't see the road ahead of her. She had to go REALLY slow. Eventually we passed out of the storm and came into the sun, but the roads were still icy. Mom didn't mean to but she drove us into a ditch. I was really scared then! Especially when Dad got out of the car to help push it out of the ditch.
So far, Oregon is new and I find everything that I see exciting. I don't like all of the water though, it makes it hard for me to poop and pee as I have to dance around constantly trying to avoid the puddles. It also smells really strange here - like mold and dead fish. Dad says that the smell is because everything is molding from the rain (I hope that I dont mold from the rain)! And Mom says that I will get used to the smell like she eventually got used to the smell of Cairo when she was there (aparently the smells are similar there and here).
Well, I better go, Mom wants to use the computer.
Love to all,
Jemima Jones Beck